Prayer Requests - Need Spiritual Help

1. For Mom, who is sliding more and more, and now in the throes of a depression I'm not sure she'll pull out of... and for Dad, who sees nothing but dead ends in this situation. It's such a long goodbye, and not an easy task.
2. For Aunt Phyllis, whose son, Chris, died earlier this week. She's lost her husband and her son in the span of six weeks. So sad and tragic.
3. For Monsignor Edward Ryle, the Conscience of the Capitol, greatly beloved in the Diocese of Phoenix for his dedication and his hard work; found by friends (including the governor) unconscious at his home. He is at Barrows Neurological Center in Phoenix; he is in critical condition and unresponsive (although responding to pain stimuli), and his vitals are stable.
4. For the 92 year old husband of a fellow inquirer in the SFO, who caught a cold last friday and has become increasingly ill.

I'm struggling to keep my spirits up; Mom's depression has really socked into me. I'd rather see her with her usual spitting of nails rather than this resignation. I don't know what to do other than pray.

I'm not ashamed of my Christianity, and not of my Catholicism, either! So there!

Wandering around in Blogland (tho' I should register in St Blog's Parish, probably), I was at the Shrine of the Holy Whapping, where there's an entry about a tacky fiber optic Nativity with comments, with a link to the Cavalcade of Bad Nativities--even a nativity belt buckle!! (GAG!) And at Holy Whapping, I asked a question in those comments, something I had thought about driving to the house of my SFO orientation directors' house on Friday night: how many Nativity scenes have you seen around?

I have one. I really wanted one of those that are about two grand just for the basic set, but like most of middle America, I have to settle for Wal-Mart. It's actually not too bad, the figures aren't too cartoonish, and they fit perfectly under my juvenile trees out in front.

But as I was driving around that neighborhood on Friday, it was just dark, and lights were coming on in peoples' yards. Tons of those silly and cute inflatable Santas that pop in and out of the chimneys; lots of snowmen (in Phoenix?), some nice light shows, the grapevine reindeer, and the like. Nice and unoffensive stuff.

But out of maybe two dozen houses I passed, I saw ONE house with a Nativity in the yard. And it was tiny, as if to be inconspicuous, maybe enough to be ashamed--and was a little too Precious Moments for my taste, but... Gasp! I was all excited, however, and rolled down my window and applauded.

It got me thinking: are we of the Christian faith ashamed to be so in this day of secularism? Are we skeeeeeeeeered? Are we so inundated and fearful that we as a whole are bowing to the tiny but hugely squeaky wheel that claims offense?

Not me, dammit.

And so far I've gotten a lot of praise and no griping so far. And nothing has been stolen yet, even with a plethora of teens in the neighborhood.

I will post a pic as soon as I find the charger to the camera. Promise.

And I am, at this jucture, assless--have to wait until I can afford one. No ox either, and no wisemen or other "accessories." I have a lil sheep, though--Does that count?

Second Sunday of Advent - December 4th. Second purple candle.

One theme all through the readings is heralding the advent of a Savior and patience in that waiting period; in Isaiah, it says '"...prepare the way of the LORD!" In the Letter of Peter it proclaims, "...waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God..."


The Gospel of Mark talks about John the Baptist. How familiar he is, Father Bruce said--in a way, we understand him: his camel hair shirt, his shouting for repentance, his humility and certainty in saying that "One mightier than I is coming after me. I am not worthy to stoop and loosen the thongs of his sandals. I have baptized you with water; he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." We are familiar with baptism, as the Catholic people it is our foundation. Yes, John is familiar.

Father told the story of blind people--in Switzerland, he seemed to recall--who couldn't obtain jobs. So this one brilliant man started a restaurant, run by the blind. Patrons went into a pitch black restaurant, led in by the blind. (See Blinde Kuh for more info--found what he was talking about pretty easily once I got home). He talked about how the people who had their sight all of a sudden was absolutely dependent on those who served them--to seat them, tell the patrons the menu, to cook, to serve--and that at first it can be very disconcerting. But if one has a little faith and trust in those who are serving, then it becomes an enjoyable and pleasurable experience.

Father likened this to what came after John the Baptist--Jesus the Christ. John, even with his eccentricities, is a familiar person. Jesus, however, is more enigmatic, and requires trust and faith. As with being served in pitch black by the blind, it takes trust and faith to do as Christ asks, as He teaches. Without faith, we are nothing, have nothing; without Faith, we have no hope. Hope, of course, centers within Christ.

How awesome to contemplate all that we have in the Son of God if we only trust!

It's already the first Sunday in advent.

Are you ready?


Thanks to Curt Jester...

Where has the time gone? I have a couple of posts sitting in limbo that I haven't posted. I haven't been terribly proficient lately, and I have no excuse. In fact, I need to do some studying for the joint meeting between the St Francis & St Clare Fraternities.

It's been very trying; drop-kicked from my temp assignment, a stressful Thanksgiving, and my Mom's sinking again. The latter is very disconcerting--the doctor is down to the big nasty prescriptions that he gives out only as a last resort. Isn't it a terrible thing when you have a long goodbye situation?

My sister just called, and asked that I start doing research on Catholic burial sites and gather info on arrangements. That's how I want to start the Christmas season: calling the diocesan cemetery folks and talk about *that.*

Lord help me.
~~~~~~
Also, RIP to Ruby, my sister's retriever. She was such a good girl. Sleep peacefully, Rubers.

Thoughts and a Thankful Reflection.


...

...

Well, I can't believe that a month has passed since I've posted. It was twenty (or so) weekdays of 12 hour days, at the end of the last one I found out I was drop-kicked at nine in the evening, which didn't endear the law firm to me with the passive aggressive stunt.

Just as well.

It gave me time to prepare for the descent of my sister, BIL, and Hellboy. It was an OK weekend. Wasn't bad, but I'm sure hankering for that move to the mid-Atlantic states.

I'm thinking of merging blogs. I like the layout & toys on this better.

~~~
I'm thankful for a merciful God.

I'm thankful for life--what a wonderful world we live in.

I'm thankful for the incredible blessing that is my husband. I'm still not sure after almost four years of marriage how or why it was *me* he chose, and it's very humbling.

I'm thankful for parents who cared enough to be my parents first and my friends later.

I'm thankful for this country that allows me to worship in the Roman Catholic Church without having to worry about being stoned, persecuted, or ostracized.

So much to be thankful for.

Thank You, God.

Enough with the political correctness and HAVE FUN on Halloween!!!



I work in an 21 floor building, and the building powers that be decided to have fun and put a pair of those cute skeletons that stand about 5 feet tall--the guy skeleton has a top hat, a chewedjacket and holds a grotty little rose; the chick skeleton has verdigris hair, a rotted papier-mache dress and a cute little headpiece. I think it's one of those that talk if you press a button, too, but thankfully they have disabled that.

Well, there's always one rotten apple: someone's offended because they're a law firm that specializes in estate law and one paralegal complained that it would upset the clients.

Bah humbug to you too, pal.

Ah, if only people would remember what Halloween was all about...



Among many so-called Christians (usually the extremist kind), there is concern that things have gotten out of hand: doesn't Halloween glorify evil?

It's time to remember what ALL HALLOWS EVE is about: it is to emphasize the saints, whose nearly forgotten feast day is the reason for what we now call "Halloween."

The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Roman Catholic Church. November 1, "All Hollows Day," or "All Saints Day," is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.

"Hallow" is the same word for "holy"*, and the contraction "e'en" is an abbreviation of "evening."

The word "Halloween," therefore, is a shortened form of "All Hallows Eve," or All Holies Evening, the day before, or the vigil, of All Saints Day.

This holiday, properly understood and celebrated with all of its fun trappings, can also be a way for all of us to deepen our understanding of our faith. The key to this understanding is close at hand for Catholics--and all Christians--in our love of the communion of saints.

Until the ninth century the Church celebrated the popular feast of All Saints on May 13th, during the season of joy after the Resurrection. This is the light in which we see all the faithful who have died, especially those whose witness to Christ is an inspiration. In 835 the date was deliberately changed to November 1 to Christianize the existing pagan time for remembering the dead—to bring light to the darkness, and hope to the most basic of human fears.

For the first 1,000 years of Christianity there was no collective memorial for All Souls. Relatives and loved ones were remembered at Mass on the anniversary of their death, or until they passed out of living memory. However, by the seventh century monasteries were celebrating an annual Mass for all the deceased of their order, an idea which spread to the laity.

About the year 1030, an influential abbot, St Odilo of Cluny, chose November 2 to commemorate All Souls because it was an obvious companion date and extension of the Feast of All Saints. Both days are reminders that all of us, living and dead, are united in a living communion with Christ and one another. From his Monastery it spread throughout the Church.

In effect, All Hallows Eve became one vigil for two feasts celebrated by the whole Catholic Church: the vigil of both All Saints and All Souls feast days.

In the 16th century at the time of the Reformation, most Protestants (alas!) discarded both the doctrine of the communion of saints and the practice of praying for the dead. All Hallows Eve became "hollow" for them, the vigil of an empty feast day.

"I believe...in the communion of saints," we say every Sunday in the Creed. How many Catholics know what this doctrine really means? You can be assured that they don't connect Halloween with that lovely phrase in the Creed--it's just a time to have fun or play pranks.

Then we get the obvious question from the sadly ignorant: Isn't that idol worshipping?

Do we "worship" or "adore" our beloved saints, as some non-Catholics think? No, nyet, nein, não, nr, αριθ! Not at all. Not even close.

We honor them and learn from their example; adoration belongs to God alone. We ask the saints to pray, or intercede for us the same way we might ask a good friend to pray. It’s comforting to have friends always available to pray with you, a whole "cloud of witnesses," in fact! (see Hebrews 12:1).

So, just like saying "Merry Christmas!" is being threatened, do NOT be afraid to wish someone a...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Carve your Own Pumpkin!!!

So where did the carving of pumpkins come from??? From Halloween Online Magazine

Celebrated for centuries by the Celts of old, Witches and many other nature based religions, it is the most magical night of the year...

On this magical night, glowing jack-o-lanterns, carved from turnips or gourds, were set on porches and in windows to welcome deceased loved ones, but also to act as protection against malevolent spirits. Burning lumps of coal were used inside as a source of light, later to be replaced by candles.

When European settlers, particularly the Irish, arrived in American they found the native pumpkin to be larger, easier to carve and seemed the perfect choice for jack-o-lanterns. Halloween didn't really catch on big in this country until the late 1800's and has been celebrated in so many ways ever since!

Pumpkins are indigenous to the western hemisphere and were completely unknown in Europe before the time of Columbus. In 1584, the French explorer Jacques Cartier reported from the St. Lawrence region that he had found "gros melons", which was translated into English as "ponpions," or pumpkins. In fact, pumpkins have been grown in America for over 5,000 years. Native Americans called pumpkins "isquotersquash."

The things you learn! My, my...



Have a blessed and safe HALLOWEEN!!




__________________________
* In the Spanish language, "santos" means 'saints,' but equally 'holies'--hence, 'todos los santos,' is All Saints, common name in Hispanic cultures, usually as a middle name. When one sees the name of the city of San Diego, California--translated loosely as Saint James--"san" is the shortened version of "santo"; the California city and Mission of Santa Barbara is from the same root, only the feminine of the appellation. [/end language lesson]

Promises, promises...

Where has October gone? I know I swore to stay on top of my posts. Sorry.

Still hanging with the SFO. Drawn to it more every day. I'll post things this weekend when I have time to reflect and concentrate. I've been doing my "homework" and reading a biography of Francis by Omer Englebert.

Mom back in ICU whilst I wandered San Diego. Imagine my shock when Dad told me today when I called to check in--uh, thanks for letting me know... Mom all depressed.

Cousin Susie came out of the woodwork. Haven't talked to her in nearly 2 years. Better late than never.

Going to bed. Have a blessed week, and may God give you His peace.

How Sinful are You? (via Angry Twins)

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 40%

Envy: 20%

Gluttony: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

OMG... that is *so* wrong!

Heh.

Slothful and Envious and Gluttonous! How 'bout that after five questions?

14%... still pretty good odds, though!

Monthly Reflections for October 2nd Session




One of the questions guaranteed to be asked is "What has happened in the last month?" as part of our discernment period.

So much has happened since the last inquiry session that it's all a blur. I can say that as my mother was in the ICU that I prayed a lot... let's just say that St Anthony has been busy fielding requests. Let's also say that I did find a chain for my San Damiano cross and I wear it every day. I'm finding an identity in this time.

In the printout of the Session One out of Come and See, it says, "Our way of life requires a person to be a good, practicing Catholic. The Rule requires us to receive the sacraments regularly. If you would not be able to do so, it would be impossible for you to keep the Rule..."

I had to chuckle. A good practicing Catholic does receive the sacraments regularly; it's pretty much the definition of "good Catholic"!! You can't be one without receiving. Isn't it hilarious that it has to be spelled out?

Another thing is deciding where the SFO belongs in one's priorities... whether involvement in other groups makes it impossible to attend SFO meetings, or deciding to make the SFO first. Well, for me it's a no-brainer. I think I'll already have to sacrifice Catechism as my work schedule is not helpful, but serving as an EMHC for me is complementary.

Another quote from Come and See: "Secular Franciscans find ways and means of enriching their understanding and practice of the scriptural word." This is exactly why I'm heading into the fray, to gather more knowledge and make it practicable.

Here I come...

Franciscan Meditations, Part III

I'm going to finish this and then post other session topics in the days to come. Later I may break this up and add more parts to the meditations, but for today I want to move on because I'm just so far behind.
~~~

Where there is darkness, light.
Who has lost hope? What can we do to bring new light to their lives?

Who? So many. They're some of the saddest people you will ever know. If you really look, they are the angry ones, the ones that lash out at people; they are the people who insult you even as they shake your hand; they are the ones whose life is work and work is life, for they have nothing and nobody, paying lip service to His message or simply refusing to open their eyes to the love of Christ.

To bring light is as simple as the Franciscan philosophy outlined in this quote (in various forms): "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words."

And where there is sadness, joy.
Are people looking for meaning in their lives? What can we do to make joy a reality for them?

Are people looking for meaning? Of course they are; why else are so many people miserable? The biggest problem is that they think *things* are the answer--which, of course, they are not and never have been. Emperors with floors of gold have been the most miserable people in history. For the everyday person, sometimes it's a shopping spree, sometimes it's gambling, sometimes it's boozing life away or packing their houses full of things that are never used.

The answer is easy if your heart is open: God's knocking. Are you listening?

Making joy a reality can be simple or complex. Sometimes it's as simple as saying hello; sending a card at random; inviting a friend that's blue out to lunch; feeding the hungry; volunteering at a senior center. One of the easiest is just flashing a sincere beaming smile at a total stranger for no reason at all. I learned that one day in a hazy memory, and you'd be surprised as to how the surprised look followed by a relieved smile makes a difference for you.


Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

We all want validation, we are communal animals. But seeking consolation or approval all the time is, frankly, a drag. Listening to others is a great exercise and one can learn new things when someone else is unhappy.


To be understood as to understand;

Back to validation. It's just that it's not all about you.

To be loved as to love;

Tied in with validation; this time, it's personal. I didn't understand this until TJ came into my life. I wanted to be loved (as who does not?), but to have that love unconditionally offered is something I had never encountered before--no questions, no preconceptions, all-encompassing, immutable. And once I realized what was happening, it was so easy to offer it back. And it spills over, it's true.

For it is in giving that we receive;

"Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver." [2 Corinthians 9:7]

'Nuff said.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."
--G. K. Chesterton

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

This, of course, is the core of our faith--the True Faith--in Jesus Christ. It is His promise, before he ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father.

Death is nothing to be afraid of; yet it is not to be sought as it is in this culture of death we live in. But while nobody who has Faith really wishes to die, neither are we to flinch when we are called to our final rest, to not be afraid of judgement, to hope that the Father forgives in his immeasurable mercy, and to be reunited with those beloved ones who we have lost.

It is in this sure hope of resurrection that makes this life we live in so sweet.

~~
Quote:

"It is important to speak of suffering and death in a way that dispels fear. Indeed, dying is a part of life."
--Pope John Paul II in Austria: Message to the sick and suffering June 1998

Franciscan Meditations, Part II

Hi folks... sorry about the long interval... so much going on doesn't leave time to blog.

Since I have my 3rd inquiry meeting this weekend, I'll continue on my meditations on the Prayer of St Francis.
~~~~

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Who are the hated "lepers' in our society? How do we sow love?

To answer the session questions (which is in reference to Francis' encounters with lepers), one of the first to come to mind is the homeless, the great invisibles. But who else might be considered lepers? I think of the obese; the ones the pretty people call "ugly;" those who don't play the political games; those who love the truth.

To sow love? Drop the blinders, get active. TJ is much better at this than me, as he is out at this moment doing outreach to homeless teens. After a few encounters with unpleasant disenfranchised while out in the Golden State gave me an aversion to any of them. I have to be better. Assault can do that to you, though.

Closer to home, I was talking to a professed member who said to me, "The hardest thing about being Franciscan is to love those who have insulted or hurt me. It's a constant struggle." It is especially hard when it is one of your own flesh and blood. See the next line.

Where there is injury, pardon.
How can we bring about reconciliation and healing to those who have been injured?

Dialog. Keep on that quiet tapping on the door. Sometimes, all one can do is try to convey such contrition. My sister said to me not a week ago that it's easy to call for forgiveness but it's dreadfully hard to continue to do so when one is constantly being insulted.

Forgive, lest ye be forgiven?

Again, it's easier said than done. I can forgive one who has hurt me, but it's much harder to forget, especially when it festers and is fed and heaped upon. Mom always said that "hate" is a word that should rarely than ever be used. Hate is a draining emotion, as is anger. To aspire to the serenity of Christ, who stayed calm in the midst of so much vitriol!

"Forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance." Mk 11:25

To forgive the grievous ill done to oneself is probably the hardest task of all.


Where there is doubt, faith.
Are the youth around us experiencing doubt? How can we share our faith, give them support, give them encouragement?

Answer to session question: Does anyone doubt that today's children are seeing incredibly mixed signals? Play nice, but daddy talks trash about mommy/grandpa/uncle/auntie. You musn't hit Jane, but the television shows all sorts of horrors. The golden rule is not about doing good unto others, but more about who has the gold. No wonder the kids are all screwed up. No wonder they doubt.

I know what it is like to be in a Catholic minority. Worse than many Protestant sects, the Mormons liken Catholics to the Anti-Christ. I learned early that it didn't pay to advertise, and this was 20, 25 years ago. I can see in my mind the four other Catholics in my grade and only one of them went to CCD with me, and we didn't get along much.

How different would it have been to have someone, an adult, tell me to hold my head up, to not be ashamed to be Catholic in those Mormon dominated days. It's only as an adult that I see that I could have used just one supporter! I didn't know any better, and too ashamed to say anything, without the concrete of the Baltimore Catechism behind me (singing "Kumbaya" and "If the devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack!" It's not that Mom and Dad didn't raise me right, but schoolyard politics are something else. Then, in high school, my religious education had been dropped, and though I knew plenty of Catholics there, none were at my parish and again, no one to nudge me to say, 'hey! keep on track!'

Faith starts in the home. Mom instilled the foundation that sustains me today. Is your home a Catholic home? (Notice how I didn't say "Christian"--for we are the original Christians despite what some Papist-haters think). I have a crucifix by the door, adorned with tinder-dry palms. I remember back when I had the birthday party for TJ where a very very very Lutheran friend just stared at it, then looked at me. I just raised my eyebrows and thought... yeeeeesss? May I help you?

I'm watching a niece's doubt being fed when her mother says that they don't have time for her Catechism because said niece has school and sports and club athletics and all this globe-trotting. Excuse me? To me, they have their priorities wrong. The parents are teaching her that God and faith are low on the list, and I think that is very sad.

A nephew has never been to Mass, not that he could sit through it anyway. I need to nudge his mother as he's of age to have his First Communion. But no, Mom doesn't have time and Dad doesn't care one whit. The poor kid.

There's a quote by JPII: "As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live." How true, how sadly true. We have watched the destruction of the family unit by the society in which we live, and look where it's gotten us.

Quote of the Day:
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

De Colores!

Palanca and Prayers to my friend who is in Cursillo #731 at Mt Claret this weekend!

Mine rocked.

Wish one could do it again and again... :)

Franciscan Meditations.

...

We were given a paper with the Prayer of St Francis this weekend, broken down, line by line. I thought it was a great idea for a series of postings and reflection.

Of course, the irony of it all is that it wasn't written by St Francis at all. See The Story Behind the Prayer of St Francis, straight from the Franciscans, so no arguments from the peanut gallery. Yet, I think we all know that this simple and beautiful prayer embodies the philosophy of Franciscan life, whether secular or ordained.

So, today I start with the thoughts on the first line of the prayer.
...

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
As a Franciscan Fraternity, how do we work to be instruments of peace for our society?

Oh, this is a hard one to start off with. Peace? Me? And why would the Lord want me to do such a thing?

Peace in the workplace. The corporate mindset, the corporate atmosphere is not a peaceful one. If one is in some kind of customer service, dealing with selfish people is not conducive to a peaceful state of mind. I used to get involved, I used to get into the alliances and the garbage talk as an element of survival. I used to hunt for a person or a few people I could vent to when the poo hit the breeze-making device.

I learned--the hard way--that it almost always backfired, no matter how justified my grievances were. Even in the temp job before this, even though I was totally, absolutely correct in my assessment of the person who was a peace-stealer, and even though I had spoken to the correct people about the issue, it didn't matter. The corporate politics won out.

I know what my problem is: I can't play the corporate game; I am not a corporate animal. So, slowly, painfully, I have learned to distance myself, to say non-committal things, to gently change the subject; therefore, in the stormy atmosphere, I create around me an island of serenity.

And the funny thing? I found that people were drawn to that more than the intrigue that I used to involve myself in.

Peace in the larger scene: local and global. I think this is my weakest spot. I'm more of an introvert, I like the parish activities: catechism, EMHC, SFO. It's not that I'm *not* needed within the parish, as a conversation with the catechism director proved this weekend. I don't think anything is wrong with that, because the Lord certainly knows that the smaller world of the local parish needs people, and I really do like that niche.

If I don't do it on my own, though, the St Clare Emerging Community will soon cure that, as we are seeking out a fraternity area of service. It hasn't been decided yet. But then I will be back in the arena I was in high school when I was a part of Interact--the things we did in the community. Gotta think about that one.


Peace in the family. It depends on the family. On both sides of my family there are histories of fractures in family unity--different catalysts, same results. Unfortunately, they have been distilled within my siblings and myself. It's a hard habit to break when the other sibs don't see that it's repeating itself. I had a long talk with a dear old monsignor about that, and the wise old man just shrugged in the end: "be the best daughter you can be," he said in his lovely Irish brogue. When an 80 year old monsignor has no solution to offer, you know it's bad ju-ju.

I have done my utmost to forgive the ill done to and wished upon me, but others just can't seem to let go. I have now learned that I have to distance myself from it.

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. I decided to revoke that permission and seek peace for myself instead of sacrificing it.


Peace in marriage. This is an area in which I am incredibly blessed. TJ and I are amazingly compatible, attuned to each other, totally on the same page. We talk about everything, withhold nothing, play no games, baring our hearts to each other.

It's really easy, and I don't see why people make marriage so hard. Maybe they just can't give of themselves enough--that's all it is, really, is giving. When both sides give, there's no thought of 'what am I getting out of this,' because the giving is the joy.

The peace and contentment in my marriage gives me strength to deal with everything else in my life.

Peace within oneself. Fr Albert Hoorman said in a homily last December, "If you have no peace, you can have no joy." I remember sitting there slackjawed throughout the rest of his homily, and my mind was blown. The light bulb had not only come on, but exploded in my head.

This is the heart of the entire matter! I realized that morning. If *I* am not at peace, then how can I be an *instrument* of that peace?

It is the starting point of my secular Franciscan journey.

~~~
To start on that road, I have started to jettison those very things that drag me down and rob me of that peace.

Things. People. Ideas. Items. Happenings. Memories.
Thoughts--oh, yes, all those negative thoughts.
Words, the expressions of those thoughts, have to clean up my mouth.
Events. Mindsets. Prejudices. Irritations. Ill will. Grudges.
Moody moods--oh, another one that crops up every Saturday morning, according to TJ. Impatience. Wants (as opposed to needs).

And on and on.

Then I need to build up the positive and good. That's the easy thing, I think.

Father Evan is my personal favorite priest.*

Evan A. Howard, OFM, was the priest who married TJ and I. He's a lovely man who ad libbed the homily at our wedding Mass using my bouquet as the base of his talk. His rather dry sense of humor was always worthy of a chuckle, and his kindness and generosity is legendary. His retirement a couple of years ago remains heavy on the hearts of his former parishioners. He is so missed.

He has cropped up here lately in my life.

Well, not physically...

A friend who went on a pilgrimage said that Fr Evan had led it--oh, I was so jealous!

And then, attached to the SFO meeting minutes from yesterday's do was this beautiful gem by those who had gone to Santa Rosa:

Spiritual Role in the Church for Franciscans
Presented by Fr. Evan Howard, O.F.M.
Santa Rosa Mission Retreat
August 5, 2005

Fr. Evan broke down the Spiritual Role in the Church for Franciscans to the five “E”s.

1) Evangelical: Franciscans are to go tell the good news. They are to study the gospel, meditate on the gospel, provide spiritual direction, share with friends, go to formation and bring the gospel to the people.

2) Environmental: Care about the planet earth and all its people and creatures. Be peacemakers. An example of being peacemakers that he gave was how the Franciscans openly protested against nuclear weapons. Franciscans are also involved with the conservation of the Rain Forests, which he called the “Lungs of Mother Earth”. Franciscans are concerned with how the world should be sharing the ‘fruit’s of Mother Earth to eliminate water and food shortages around the world.

3) Ecumenical: Franciscans should make peace with other faiths. Show respect and offer friendship and respect to them. They offer retreats to non-Catholics and ecumenical charities.

4) Enthusiasm: Show enthusiasm by promoting prayer and the desire to share the word. Franciscans are very supportive of Music Ministry….it is one of the best ways to convert. Missions used music to convert natives. Appreciate faith through music and prayer groups.

5) Eucharist: Franciscans have total devotion to the Eucharist, to Adoration and to Holy Hours. They promote Perpetual Adoration, Daily Mass, and respecting and sharing the Eucharist.


They should have added a sixth E: Evan's Wisdom: how to live in this crummy secular world with God as your guide.

Health to you, dear Father Evan!

__________________________
* Wellll... I dunno. He's going to have to duke it out with Father Alonso de Blas. Heh... now that's a mental image that makes me giggle!

9/4/2005 - Orientation.

S pointed out today that the cord that holds her Tau has three knots on it, three knots that are for the three points of Franciscanism: poverty, chastity, and obedience. Sounds like an ordained Friar, eh? So what does it have to do with being a Secular Franciscan?

Well, first, the definition of "secular," from Dictionary.com:

sec·u·lar (sek-ye-ler) adj.

1. Worldly rather than spiritual.

4. Not bound by monastic restrictions, especially not belonging to a religious order. Used of the clergy.

n.

1. A member of the secular clergy.
2. A layperson.

OK, that's pretty thorough--except that the SFO is a religious order. This will work, though.

Next, the definitions of poverty, chastity, and obedience, again from dictionary.com, truncated so that this post doesn't last a century.

Poverty, noun: "the state of having little or no money and few or no material possessions"

Chastity, noun: The condition or quality of being pure or chaste; or, virginity; or, virtuous character; or, celibacy.

Obedience, noun, second definition: A sphere of ecclesiastical authority, or, a group of people under such authority.

Put these under the proper perspective and it makes sense.

If you look at the New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia, it says the following under "Poverty": "Jesus Christ did not condemn the possession of worldly goods, or even of great wealth, for He himself had rich friends... [but] it is true that Christ constantly pointed out the danger of riches, which, He says, are the thorns that choke up the good seed of the word... now poverty has no intrinsic goodness, but is good only because it is useful to remove the obstacles which stand in the way of the pursuit of spiritual perfection," which of course, Franciscan spirituality pursues that perfection. Like I said in a previous post, it doesn't mean to sell everything--we're not heading into the Friary/Convent here. It's recognizing that things are just that--things--and be able to set them aside and give to those who need those things more.

To put it as The Rule on the NAFRA website puts it, "...Secular Franciscans seek a proper spirit of detachment from temporal goods by simplifying their own material needs. Let them be mindful that according to the gospel they are stewards of the goods received for the benefit of God's children. "

When it comes to Chastity, if you are a truly practicing Catholic, is not an issue. But for our Cafeteria Catholic friends and those who are of different faith, it is simply, again as described above, or, again referring to New Advent: "Chastity is the virtue which excludes or moderates the indulgence of the sexual appetite." It also applies to other bacchanalian self-indulgences and delectations, such as food and drink, which of course is hard when most Franciscan meetings revolve around food! But in all seriousness, in today's world, I think it's the virtue most Catholics shrug off, especially in our sexually charged society.

So what does chastity mean to a secular religious person? Obviously, if one is married, the sex issue is not the problem. If one is single, it's a matter of self-control--which is hard when sex is thrown into one's face from billboards and TV. Chastity also means tempering behaviors, such as drinking and eating and general self-indulgence. Think of it in terms of "constraint with reference to all acts that give rise to shame" (again thank New Advent under "chastity"). The so-called old fashioned virtues of chastity, modesty, generosity, kindness, et cetera, really weren't off-base. It's a shame that our society sniggers at the thought of virtues in general--it would be a kinder place.

Back to the subject at hand:

Obedience is probably pretty much as the definition above says, especially in the Church. The Secular Franciscan Order is recognized by Rome and is subject to Her command. New Advent refers to it--correctly in my humble opinion--as being yet another virtue. "It is the recognition of the authority of God vicariously exercised through a human agent that confers upon the act of obedience its special merit." Disobedience, the other half of this particular coin, didn't buy Adam much, nor Lucifer, nor anyone else who had blown off the rules of God. Obedience as Christ was obedient to His Father, or as his Blessed Mother was obedient--it's a tough concept to wrap a brain around in this world of independent thought and action.

Together--poverty, chastity, and obedience--are pretty much the antithesis of modern mores, are the heart of Catholicism, the baseline for secular orders, and are distilled in the religious life. Separately, one or two are probably manageable for the average Catholic; together they may well be near impossible without the dedication and persistence and God's grace.

~~

O Lord Jesus Christ, who, when the world was growing cold, did renew in the flesh of the most blessed Francis the sacred stigmata of Thy Passion, in order to inflame our hearts with the fire of Thy love, graciously grant unto us, that yoked to his merits and prayers we may bear the Cross, and bring forth fruits worthy of penance: You who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, God forever and ever. Amen.

I am a dolt.

I thought I had no blog to update.

I am a total loser.

Sorry, Blogger Support. I didn't mean to be such a dumbass.

I love Orientation Periods. Don't you?

I don't think it matters whether it's a college class, a basket-weaving club, or looking into a secular order. There's always the first few meetings and the vague thought of 'oh my dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into? Who are these people and where on earth did they come from?'

There are always 'Los Sabelotodos' (know-it-alls to you gringos out there): the ones who have been there, done that, and are just so arrogant to boot. I had someone lecture me on the Latin Mass and how bad the Mass is now--then go to Mass at St Thomas if you don't like it! Hellooooo!! Part of the job description is to uphold the teachings of Vatican II. What part of that did they miss?

Then, The Timids: the ones who don't open their mouths at all, scared to death about whatever it is, not participating at all, scared of sounding stupid. I do wish they'd say something--it's terribly boring to have someone just sit there.

And the ones that really get my goat are The Clueless: the ones who think it's a club or something. No, the Secular Franciscans aren't a service organization--look into helping St Vincent de Paul if that is all that you want. No, we do not "worship" or "pray to" St Francis and St Clare.* Catholics do not worship saints, we venerate and try to emulate them. No, "poverty" in this case doesn't mean sell the house and car, farm out the cat and make sure your bank account is at zero; there's a reason why it's called "secular." It is more of a shedding of the material things in this world--understanding that physical items are just that--things--and seeing the world in a different light because it's no longer the focus of your everyday life.

By the second or third session of Orientation, you know who is all over it or who is going to bolt. I see three people already who are thinking, 'um, no...'
~~~

My own problem is that because of my previous exposure to Franciscans--ordained and secular--I'm champing at the bit really hard to move forward. Yes, I know what the Tau is. I understand the significance of the San Damiano cross--I'm wearing one as I type, that's how much I love it and it's symbolism. Yes, I have some inkling of what is expected from a potential candidate--I looked it up before I walked in the door. I'm a person who does research when I get into something.

I'm scared of being a know-it-all but I don't want to sit there and give chapter and verse on Franciscan basics. It's that fine line between being prepared and getting arrogant because I know many of the answers right now, on the basic things, at least.
~~

"Francis, repair my Church," said Christ from the Byzantine-influenced icon to Il Poverello. Kneeling in the ruins of the San Damiano parish building, Francis thought it was about gathering stones and fixing the damage. Only later did Francis realize that Christ didn't mean the literal building: not church with a little 'c', but Church, big 'c.' THE Church. Of course, Christ meant the corruption and disunion and the abuses within the Holy Mother Church, and for Francis to go and proselytize and remind everyone what the Church was really all about.

Sad, isn't it, that Christ is probably looking for a modern Francis to bring the Church back to Her former glory? I wonder if Christ has said to Papa Ratzi "Joseph, repair my Church," and if anyone is up to that task.

And it's also our task--Franciscan or not--to repair His Church--because healing starts from within.

______________________________
* I could NOT believe I heard someone say that in one session. Blew my mind. I thought: You did say you were Roman Catholic... right? Really? And you think that we worship saints? Um, are you sure you're Catholic??

Introductions and the Rest of the Story

I am Lisa Noonan; for the other part of my life, see http://www.livejournal.com/~bluepooey/ - that's the outside part of my life.

This blog is to cover the internal and spiritual.

Wandering through cyberspace, I have found several Franciscan spirituality websites, and a couple of blogs--the most prominent being "A Secular Franciscan Life," but I believe Randy is already professed. It's hard for me to tell.

I have yet to find one that details anyone going into the stages of profession. If you find any, let me know. Must band together...
~~~~

Before I begin, let me assert that I am a cradle Catholic. I never really left. I remember CCD (remember that, some of you?) as a bunch of coloring-books and kumbaya bull-caca--no disrespect to Sisters Mary Valeria and Virginia Marie (both B.V.M), nor to the catechists whose names I don't remember. Anyway, I had a tearful first confession, an unremarkable First Communion, and then after that, my religious education eventually faded away because of family stuff.

I never really went *away* from the Church--I attended Mass sporadically, usually with my mother. When my sister was dying I would to our parish and just kneel and pray, especially when we learned it was terminal. I had spoken to Sister Janice Guenther, who had been there for my sister, and had thought about "returning" to the Church then, getting Confirmed, but it never really gelled at that time. Then I was back and forth to California for the next several years, and that pull faded.

Fast forward:

My current leg of spiritual journey began back around the summer of 1996. It was a hellacious year for me, especially professionally. I was, at that time, in the fire service, and the political atmosphere was becoming untenable for me. I was at a juncture where everything around me had spiritual poverty: lies, cheats, backstabbing: when a certain chief officer lied to my face, it was the beginning of the end. That was my impetus for my return, not only to Arizona but to the Holy Mother Church. I just didn't quite realize it.

My last two years in the fire service were a living hell. I spent a lot of time at the parish of Sts Peter and Paul in the foothills of Rancho Cucamonga; the pastor there was a gregarious man, humorous and loved. I never got to know him, but I did enjoy him, and he and the parish at large was a balm to my battered pride and low spirits.

It was there that I promised God that when I returned--not if, when--I would come back to His Church all the way. I had no timeframe in mind, just... I just promised Him from the bottom of my heart.

I hadn't planned on leaving--it just happened. At the end of 1997 I didn't say 'hey guys, I'm leaving.' No. I just went home to my parents' house for the winter. I didn't know what I was doing. I just needed time away from the cesspit of iniquity. When I got a job with decent pay and OK benefits, I just stayed home. Finally, around April of 1998, the office called and I told them I wasn't coming back. Interestingly enough, there was no protest, nothing.

I got the message.

At about this time, I started attending Mass sporadically at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, the parish that I grew up in. The first thing I noticed was that they had gotten rid of that ghastly huge plastic crucifix that had hung from the ceiling from when Fr McCready put it there when the parish was built. Sorry, no disrespect to the dead intended, but that thing was horrific. Even as a kid I never liked it.

And I never warmed to the parish as an adult. Don't know why. It's not really a very pretty parish, but I'd seen worse: I think of the orange carpet and pew cushions at Sts Peter and Paul, and the ugly blue carpet at OLMC was beatific.

At about this same time, I met the love of my life; the whole story is for another, reflective, post. It's important to this narrative because what were the chances that I would meet a guy who had wanted to convert for years? He--TJ--was the catalyst for where I am today.

So we went to Old Parish (we recently switched to New Parish), and we went through RCIA together. We were also married at Old Parish by a lovely old priest who has since retired. It was also at this parish--henceforth known as OP--that I met "Tio Pedro", who would become my Cursillo sponsor. Also I met several people from the SFO here--so many lovely people.

[I'll let you head back to the LJ blog to pick up some of the politicky crap here that necessitated our move to New Parish (henceforth known as NP)].

So, once married, I threw myself into serving at Mass, participating at the RCIA team meetings, and singing in the choir. With OP being small, it was a matter of time before the cliques and crap caught up with me, especially as involved as I was. My fault, too: I wasn't paying attention and it caught up with me.

Yet, I found a closer relationship with God despite it all.

And since OP is a Franciscan parish, a parish that had drawn me since I was about 11, I felt that tug I had felt since my mother had brought me there. It also gave me an excellent foundation for the path I'm on today.

~~

New Parish has a brand new "emerging community," the step before becoming a Fraternity (see: http://www.nafra-sfo.org/); it is named in honor of St Clare.

There are no coincidences.

I had, on several occasions, planned on talking to B, the coordinator of the St Francis Fraternity here. Always, for one reason or another, it never happened. Then, by a stroke of fate, in the NP bulletin, there it was: if one was interested, the St Clare Emerging Community was opening its arms for Inquirers.

Oh, yeah. I was SO there.

Stay tuned.