Be Well, Do Good Work, and Keep in Touch

I found this quote by Garrison Keillor that I have found in response to my decision to drop this blog for awhile. Circumstances have been altered greatly and I don't feel that I can write in the spirit of this venue while I'm in the life situation I'm in.

For those who have commented, for those who have emailed me over the course of time, thank you for your time, consideration, input and inspiration. There are several of you who have unknowingly kept my feet on the right path as I've wandered off, and you have my perpetual gratitude.

For my lurkers, and I know you're out there, thanks for your silent support and reflection and even the occasional prayers. You are equally in my prayers.

LIFE is to live
and life is to give
and talents are to use
for good if you choose.
Do not pray for easy lives.
Pray to be stronger.
Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.
Pray for powers equal to your tasks.
then the doing of your work shall be no miracle
but you shall be a miracle.
Every day you shall wonder at yourself.
at the richness of life
which has come to you by the grace of God.
But everyone needs someone.
knowing that somewhere someone is thinking of you.

--Fr. Solanus Casey, OFM Cap.

I wish all of you peace.

STATEMENT OF THE DIOCESE OF PHOENIX
Re: The Praise and Worship Center
January 3, 2008

The Praise and Worship Services being led by Dale Fushek, a priest of the Diocese of Phoenix on administrative leave, and Mark Dippre, a priest who left public ministry to enter into a civil marriage and a priest not in good standing, are not endorsed by the Catholic Church. Both of these men have been ordained Catholic priests and ministered in the Diocese of Phoenix. Their actions are not in union with the Catholic Church and may potentially mislead well intentioned Catholics and other members of the Christian faithful. It is important for the faithful to know that both priests are acting contrary to the teachings of the Catholic Church and remain disobedient to directives of the Bishop of Phoenix to whom they pledged obedience and respect when they were ordained to the priesthood.

The Diocese of Phoenix wishes to express its grave concern for Catholics who may be misled or confused by the actions of Dale Fushek and Mark Dippre. Therefore, the Diocese of Phoenix does not endorse the actions of these priests and we encourage Catholics to refrain from attending or supporting the Praise and Worship Center. We remind Catholics that the ultimate form of praise and worship is and always will be the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and we urge them to keep the Mass as the center of their lives. There is no substitution for the graces received at Mass and no prayer more edifying.

Thoughts?

Seems crystal clear to me... but local folks under Fushek's spell do not seem to get it.

Back later. Homework time.

Keeping Focused



I didn't think my candidate interview earlier in December went very well (part of the same funk as described a couple of posts ago). In the last six months, I have felt stretched to the limit, ineffectual, and not really with it. For my interview I felt frazzled and unprepared, and apparently Deacon Phil (on the council) had made note of it. Right after, he had emailed me to say he wanted to talk to me, and I was thinking, Oh my God, I'm dead, I'm screwed. Then the holidays came--he was at my open house party, with no place/time to talk--and it got set aside. Then he emailed me again just before the new year, insisting we meet before the next fraternity meeting... and that dread that somehow I had @$%&%*& up stalked me again. Loving Phil to death, knowing he doesn't bite, and trusting him, I took him up on his invitation... all the while bracing myself for the worst.

We met this afternoon when I got off of work, sitting in the garden adjacent to the Perpetual Adoration chapel, a beautiful and peaceful place. Instead of "well, you have been found wanting and, well, see ya..." Phil referred to his notebook and wanted to discuss things that concerned him. Knowing I could trust him, I told him what was on my heart, why I was so scattered, and it was a balm. I was sure I was losing my mind until I talked to him today.

He helped me focus on what is really on my plate at this time:

Marriage
Work
School
Dad
Franciscans

Nothing is more important to me than TJ and the life we have built together. Our marriage is my rock, the center of my world, especially as I know so well how blessed I am to have him. We have something so very rare in our age group that I will allow nothing to interfere with Us. God binds us together, nothing will be allowed to tear us asunder, period. Phil, who admires TJ, and who admires our marriage, was impressed with my line of reasoning and my feelings on the matter. I said something to the effect of, "If I can't take care of and nourish my marriage, then I can't take care of anything else... everything else falls apart."

Work is work. It's a necessity... and it's a blessing in a world where jobs aren't exactly falling from trees. I'm blessed that my boss is a devout Catholic and that he encourages me to go to Mass during the week. Boss is also a reasonable and fair man, and he and I pull tandem very well. This is not a chore, really, but it is something I need to do well and, in the legal realm, requires brain draining and time. Like I told Phil, it's an hour's drive to work, I get there at eight or eight-thirty so that I get out at a decent time. Sometimes I can hold to the three-quarter time schedule, and sometimes twelve hour days are necessary--I never know. It can be mellow--and it is, most days; but when the proverbial poop hits the fan, it gets very bad. This is life.

School is another necessity; I must get my paralegal cert so I can make enough money to take the pressure off of TJ as the main income. It's not hard--school is very easy for me, always has been--but it's a lot of work. It drains me, it's tiring, it's expensive (even for a junior college), and it's time consuming... but it won't last forever. This will pass.

Dad - he is a priority since my mother's death nearly two years ago. He'll be 79 in March, and he is doing pretty well, all things considering. He doesn't need a babysitter, though my sibs disagree (but they like calling shots from out of state anyway). He needs me as a sounding board, a confidante, as the child closest to my mother and his late lamented wife. #2 brother takes care of the house stuff; I take care of Dad's mental and physical health. He'll ask me to go with him for his doctor's visits just so he has a second pair of ears and doesn't miss anything. Or, in Dad's own words, "You come by, there's always lunch on me."

And, the Franciscans. As Phil said, there's six months to go. Where am I going? What do I want? I told Phil about the rocks being flung at my head by my mentor (I'm sorry for the misunderstanding--it was not the council doing that in my prior post, it was my mentor/sponsor). I expressed my great concern about this situation and the fact that my mentor/sponsor doesn't even seem to want to get to know me. The road to profession runs through that person, no matter what Phil or anyone else on the Council thinks, no matter how close to Phil I may be.

It was a relief to unburden my concerns and thoughts, but all the while, one question nagged at me: why hasn't my sponsor/mentor asked about this? Why does it seem like he doesn't really care. We have to talk.

As Phil and I went to our cars (parked together), he said something that really warmed my heart. He said that I'm on fire, a "passionate woman," passionate about the SFO and the Holy Mother Church... and his greatest concern was that with me going in so many directions that he's afraid the fire will go out.

That's one of the nicest things I've had said to me in a very long time. I'll remember that when I'm trying to balance everything.