I love Orientation Periods. Don't you?

I don't think it matters whether it's a college class, a basket-weaving club, or looking into a secular order. There's always the first few meetings and the vague thought of 'oh my dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into? Who are these people and where on earth did they come from?'

There are always 'Los Sabelotodos' (know-it-alls to you gringos out there): the ones who have been there, done that, and are just so arrogant to boot. I had someone lecture me on the Latin Mass and how bad the Mass is now--then go to Mass at St Thomas if you don't like it! Hellooooo!! Part of the job description is to uphold the teachings of Vatican II. What part of that did they miss?

Then, The Timids: the ones who don't open their mouths at all, scared to death about whatever it is, not participating at all, scared of sounding stupid. I do wish they'd say something--it's terribly boring to have someone just sit there.

And the ones that really get my goat are The Clueless: the ones who think it's a club or something. No, the Secular Franciscans aren't a service organization--look into helping St Vincent de Paul if that is all that you want. No, we do not "worship" or "pray to" St Francis and St Clare.* Catholics do not worship saints, we venerate and try to emulate them. No, "poverty" in this case doesn't mean sell the house and car, farm out the cat and make sure your bank account is at zero; there's a reason why it's called "secular." It is more of a shedding of the material things in this world--understanding that physical items are just that--things--and seeing the world in a different light because it's no longer the focus of your everyday life.

By the second or third session of Orientation, you know who is all over it or who is going to bolt. I see three people already who are thinking, 'um, no...'
~~~

My own problem is that because of my previous exposure to Franciscans--ordained and secular--I'm champing at the bit really hard to move forward. Yes, I know what the Tau is. I understand the significance of the San Damiano cross--I'm wearing one as I type, that's how much I love it and it's symbolism. Yes, I have some inkling of what is expected from a potential candidate--I looked it up before I walked in the door. I'm a person who does research when I get into something.

I'm scared of being a know-it-all but I don't want to sit there and give chapter and verse on Franciscan basics. It's that fine line between being prepared and getting arrogant because I know many of the answers right now, on the basic things, at least.
~~

"Francis, repair my Church," said Christ from the Byzantine-influenced icon to Il Poverello. Kneeling in the ruins of the San Damiano parish building, Francis thought it was about gathering stones and fixing the damage. Only later did Francis realize that Christ didn't mean the literal building: not church with a little 'c', but Church, big 'c.' THE Church. Of course, Christ meant the corruption and disunion and the abuses within the Holy Mother Church, and for Francis to go and proselytize and remind everyone what the Church was really all about.

Sad, isn't it, that Christ is probably looking for a modern Francis to bring the Church back to Her former glory? I wonder if Christ has said to Papa Ratzi "Joseph, repair my Church," and if anyone is up to that task.

And it's also our task--Franciscan or not--to repair His Church--because healing starts from within.

______________________________
* I could NOT believe I heard someone say that in one session. Blew my mind. I thought: You did say you were Roman Catholic... right? Really? And you think that we worship saints? Um, are you sure you're Catholic??

Introductions and the Rest of the Story

I am Lisa Noonan; for the other part of my life, see http://www.livejournal.com/~bluepooey/ - that's the outside part of my life.

This blog is to cover the internal and spiritual.

Wandering through cyberspace, I have found several Franciscan spirituality websites, and a couple of blogs--the most prominent being "A Secular Franciscan Life," but I believe Randy is already professed. It's hard for me to tell.

I have yet to find one that details anyone going into the stages of profession. If you find any, let me know. Must band together...
~~~~

Before I begin, let me assert that I am a cradle Catholic. I never really left. I remember CCD (remember that, some of you?) as a bunch of coloring-books and kumbaya bull-caca--no disrespect to Sisters Mary Valeria and Virginia Marie (both B.V.M), nor to the catechists whose names I don't remember. Anyway, I had a tearful first confession, an unremarkable First Communion, and then after that, my religious education eventually faded away because of family stuff.

I never really went *away* from the Church--I attended Mass sporadically, usually with my mother. When my sister was dying I would to our parish and just kneel and pray, especially when we learned it was terminal. I had spoken to Sister Janice Guenther, who had been there for my sister, and had thought about "returning" to the Church then, getting Confirmed, but it never really gelled at that time. Then I was back and forth to California for the next several years, and that pull faded.

Fast forward:

My current leg of spiritual journey began back around the summer of 1996. It was a hellacious year for me, especially professionally. I was, at that time, in the fire service, and the political atmosphere was becoming untenable for me. I was at a juncture where everything around me had spiritual poverty: lies, cheats, backstabbing: when a certain chief officer lied to my face, it was the beginning of the end. That was my impetus for my return, not only to Arizona but to the Holy Mother Church. I just didn't quite realize it.

My last two years in the fire service were a living hell. I spent a lot of time at the parish of Sts Peter and Paul in the foothills of Rancho Cucamonga; the pastor there was a gregarious man, humorous and loved. I never got to know him, but I did enjoy him, and he and the parish at large was a balm to my battered pride and low spirits.

It was there that I promised God that when I returned--not if, when--I would come back to His Church all the way. I had no timeframe in mind, just... I just promised Him from the bottom of my heart.

I hadn't planned on leaving--it just happened. At the end of 1997 I didn't say 'hey guys, I'm leaving.' No. I just went home to my parents' house for the winter. I didn't know what I was doing. I just needed time away from the cesspit of iniquity. When I got a job with decent pay and OK benefits, I just stayed home. Finally, around April of 1998, the office called and I told them I wasn't coming back. Interestingly enough, there was no protest, nothing.

I got the message.

At about this time, I started attending Mass sporadically at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, the parish that I grew up in. The first thing I noticed was that they had gotten rid of that ghastly huge plastic crucifix that had hung from the ceiling from when Fr McCready put it there when the parish was built. Sorry, no disrespect to the dead intended, but that thing was horrific. Even as a kid I never liked it.

And I never warmed to the parish as an adult. Don't know why. It's not really a very pretty parish, but I'd seen worse: I think of the orange carpet and pew cushions at Sts Peter and Paul, and the ugly blue carpet at OLMC was beatific.

At about this same time, I met the love of my life; the whole story is for another, reflective, post. It's important to this narrative because what were the chances that I would meet a guy who had wanted to convert for years? He--TJ--was the catalyst for where I am today.

So we went to Old Parish (we recently switched to New Parish), and we went through RCIA together. We were also married at Old Parish by a lovely old priest who has since retired. It was also at this parish--henceforth known as OP--that I met "Tio Pedro", who would become my Cursillo sponsor. Also I met several people from the SFO here--so many lovely people.

[I'll let you head back to the LJ blog to pick up some of the politicky crap here that necessitated our move to New Parish (henceforth known as NP)].

So, once married, I threw myself into serving at Mass, participating at the RCIA team meetings, and singing in the choir. With OP being small, it was a matter of time before the cliques and crap caught up with me, especially as involved as I was. My fault, too: I wasn't paying attention and it caught up with me.

Yet, I found a closer relationship with God despite it all.

And since OP is a Franciscan parish, a parish that had drawn me since I was about 11, I felt that tug I had felt since my mother had brought me there. It also gave me an excellent foundation for the path I'm on today.

~~

New Parish has a brand new "emerging community," the step before becoming a Fraternity (see: http://www.nafra-sfo.org/); it is named in honor of St Clare.

There are no coincidences.

I had, on several occasions, planned on talking to B, the coordinator of the St Francis Fraternity here. Always, for one reason or another, it never happened. Then, by a stroke of fate, in the NP bulletin, there it was: if one was interested, the St Clare Emerging Community was opening its arms for Inquirers.

Oh, yeah. I was SO there.

Stay tuned.