Fire On the Mountains... San Bernardino N.F.

I swear, this is the decade of the Berdue… the Big Nasty a couple of years ago in the Front Country and now this. I hope the Angeles takes a break. More information here.

To break up the seriousness of the gravity of the fire situation on the San Bernardino, here is a piece of old humor. For those who have not a clue what wildland fire entails, this gives you a quick idea of what it’s like in a humorous slant.

For my former crewmates and pals from the Berdue, and all those who are fighting wildland fires this year, especially at the one in Joshua Tree… oh, yay, JT… and Cabazon... BE SAFE OUT THERE!

WHEN THE FIRE SEASON IS DONE

One day we will all be returning to a normal life, and it may not be easy. Here are some tips for a slow, sure withdrawal from fireline life:

Make a tape recording of helicopters flying overhead so you can replay it for yourself when you go to bed.

Turn on all the lights in your bedroom before trying to sleep.

Put your stinky, dirty socks beneath your pillow.

Sprinkle some dirt and pine needles on your sheets.

Have the paper deliverer honk their horn for you at 4:00 a.m. A lot.

During the day, turn on a stove burner on to warm and sit on it. Make a sandwich, sit on it, then go and drop it in the dirt in the flower bed. Go and stand beside a full smelly garbage can when you eat it.

Twice a day, hit yourself in the shins with a hammer. (Pulaskis can really appreciate this one! ...Me!)

If you carpool to work, ride in the trunk. Then, tell your carpool driver to forget to pick you up when it’s time to go home.

In the evening, at home, start a fire in the fireplace, close the damper, shut off all the lights and read by flashlight.

For breakfast, cook a nice omelet, pour a cup of coffee, refrigerate both for 15 minutes before putting them on the table. Then, lay your head in the plate and go to sleep.

Veterans of firelines, especially hotshot folks, can add volumes to this old piece of humor I found one time. It could go on and on.

Pray for the firefighters and for all the people whose homes and livelihoods are threatened by these two rompin, stompin fires.