Why I love Julie... and her Thought Provoking Posts

Wandering my usual list of blogs, I always try to keep up on Julie on "A Little Pregnant." Today's post was excellent as usual, and an excellent reason why I love reading her opines: sassy, funny, and even if she doesn't agree, she'll at least be fair. Strongly disagree, even, but still be open to the opposing view.

The comments range from "SO archaeic and ridiculous" to "Profoundly out of touch" to "The Catholic church is only going to keep losing members if it doesn't modernize its policies." There are the those who post and say that they're Catholic and then rail against the rules. Well, you know what's up, the Church's stance has never been a secret. Why cry now?

And then there are the tiny minority, like Catholicgirl ("No one should be made to feel shame or doubt for being Catholic, either, but these comments are making me feel like s**t"), the personal attestation by Ktcakes, the "I'm tired of the Catholic bashing" from P, Jennifer's great comment, and the excellent discourse from Arwen, which is really a good read on Julie's comments page for this particular post (wanna teach RCIA?). Otherwise, it's a sad discourse on those who don't really have a good idea of what the Church's stance is on life. It saddened me to the point of commenting.

Like I commented, it's not easy being Catholic... and it isn't for everyone. And Cath-Girl, don't be ashamed, nothing to be ashamed of, hon.

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My personal viewpoint is still a little muddled when it comes to assisted reproduction. TJ and I have been trying now for over three years and nothing. Doctors won't really look at me until he gets tested, but these days TJ barely has time to breathe, so nothing has happened yet. I cringe at the thought of forking over the cash just for the hysterosalpingogram to see if anything's blocked (insurance won't cover). And what if it's me? What then?

My ectopic pregnancy almost two years ago scared the daylights out of both of us--it's sobering when a doctor says to me that he may have to remove half of my reproductive system (he thankfully didn't have to, but hoo-boy...). It was in that hounded-by-demons-from-Hell period that I tripped over Julie's blog (and Tertia's, and NakedOvary's, etc) because I was looking up methotrexate and things equally as scary.

MTX is naaaaasty stuff, but it saved me from a potential surgery that probably would have resulted in terrible scarring in all the wrong places if I want a child. I had seen the abnormality in my fallopian tube before the technician did--and there was no heartbeat, just tissue continuing to grow (molar pg?). But I always hear this tiny whisper, what if it had been? And then I remember that it could have killed me if it had gone undetected. And then again... what if...? It was an emotional and physical path of horror.

So I could understand a part of Julie's path... and what keeps me coming is her wicked humor, sparkling snarkfests, and shameless trolling for assvice. And her fairness, forgiveness, and openness. She possesses grace under fire, although the shots are from needles rather than from guns... and she's jumping into the battleground once more, God bless her. Brave lady.

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Terrifying events like ectopics makes you consider what is life, and where it starts, and how it starts.

What if I get to the point where I will have to go to a specialist? I'll do it, I think, not for ego but, like any woman headed to that scary one-way street with an unknown end, the whole point is the creation of life, the ardent desire to have that new life, the baby, the positive as opposed to anything negative. It's not a chosen road, not by a long shot. We women (and men) envy the Britneys of the world, able to pop them out with nary a thought or consideration for herself, anyone else, and especially the child itself, the most frustrating thing; we struggle to not scream at her insouciance and her ignorance, and people like her.

Now, if and/or when we get to that exit ramp, it doesn't mean I'll defecate on the teachings of my Church in my pursuit of motherhood. I cringe to say it, but there are some things that I have thought long and hard about, and have actually disagreed with the Church. God gave us brains, after all. However, I will not smear said feces all over the catechism, or the dignity of that ancient faith. As my sister naively put it one time, 2000 years can't exactly be wrong. Put before that the parent religion of Judaism for another millenium or so, and it's pretty hard to dismiss the teachings. It has been pretty consistent.

Like I say, the Church thinks in terms of eons, not in the caprices of societal norms. That is how she survives. Like the commenter Jennifer said, "It is a symptom of the contemporary blight that we think we can read a few lines in a badly written internet news piece and dismiss 2000 years of theology and philosophy with a few glib remarks. " Amen, sister.