No Wonder the Youth is Disinterested and Disenchanted

Well, it got itself done, the class of catechumens were duly sealed with the Holy Spirit and they are on their way. I can't say that my first foray into sponsoring a teenager was exactly exciting. Niece was appropriately and beautifully dressed (if not a little too maturely), and did the deed, and read her part of the Intentions very well, our little lawyer did.

Bp Olmsted: Be sealed with the Holy Spirit
Niece: Amen (thinking: halfway there!)
Bp Olmsted: Peace be with you.
Niece: and also with you. (now leave me alone forever, and I'm never, ever coming back)

And she said her responses without a shred of sincerity--no surprise for a girl who, in her sterile thank you note to me, ended with, "your interest in the process is very refreshing." Just smacking of insincerity. Ugh. And the whole thing saddened me beyond measure. Her only thought when we got to our pew was that the chrism was going to make her forehead break out. I know she's a teenager, but really... some gravity was appropriate at that time.

We were fortunate to be in the first couple of mobs to go up (90 kids confirmed in this Mass), so I got to people watch. Most kids dressed appropriately, many sponsors did not. How interesting. Also interesting as to how the usually impassive pastor jumped whenever Da Bish even raised an eyebrow... or even the Deacon that came with Da Bish. That Deacon from the Diocese, he made things smooth. Old pro.

Let's talk about really refreshing: Da Bish obviously enjoys administering the Sacrament, it shows on his face and in his movements. His homily also reflected that, once he got past his initial stilted start, he really got into it, but in his quiet and sincere way. He is no showman. He is truly happy in his vocation, and enjoys it immensely. I lurve Da Bish, for this and many other reasons.

To be honest, Niece wasn't the only one disconnected, disdainful, and disinterested. There were plenty in this parish that had some familiar Phoenix power bloc names that were in her boat: too sophisticated to be interested in this whole uncool crap. Most of the kids were somewhere in between: they were OK with it, they accept the teachings, but it really hit no deep chord.

But there were others, some with shy smiles, others with bright and brilliant smiles, whose faces really shined as they replied to Da Bish, "and also with you." Those were the kids who got it, they were the ones who heard the Lord quietly knocking on their inner doors. It was neat to see. You can't stage that.

~~

There were other, less happy things during this Confirmation Mass.

The altar hangings looked like the 3rd grade did them, although it was obvious that an adult did them. Third graders would have done better, methinks. The silly tableau on the altar steps was just... well... silly: candles and posterboard and bright, shiny taffeta. The silk floral swag draped on the Crucifix was all right (although I don't know how really acceptable it is), except that it obscured His face. All these things are to be expected in the maverick post-Vatican II Church in America. Butt-ugly artistic expressions are a way of life--they may be sincere and have the best of intentions, but one only has to look at the new cathedral in Los Angeles to understand what I mean. Ugh.

But the music!!!!! Oh, my God, the music--!!!! *retch*

A friend of mine whoI was in the choir with would have called them "frustrated lounge singers," and that is being kind. Very kind. A lackluster and sloppily dressed choir, a pianist who pounded dramatically on the keys, a drummer who thought he was a solo act, and the lead/cantor who belongs in a hotel bar in a wanna-be Doris Day kind of way. The Hosanna and Alleluia were one of those horrific blues-crossed-with-jazz deals and ol' Doris up there was scat singing... no, she was caterwauling!
Ahhh-lay loooooooooooo hooooooo hoo hoo yoo yyyyyyyyaaaaayyyaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh...!

I fervently wished for earplugs at that point, because it got worse. Much worse.

I kept seeing the Lawrence Welk singers in my head at Communion as the bland tune was sung over and over, with another un-charming scat session by ol' Dumb Dora. So distracting--I could barely concentrate on my wee chat with Da Big Guy. You see, God, it's like this... and, later: Blessed Mother, after witnessing this, intercede for all of us...

The recessional was so secular that I felt it belonged to a high school over-achievers rally instead of a sending forth song in a Catholic Church--"go out and make a difference!"--never mind that for a moment I felt I was at a Baptist revival with people's arms waving and clapping. Having had the honor of being a part of an excellent Catholic parish choir, this made my ears bleed.

But that's not all!

Ushers in shorts and Hawaiian print shirts! An altar server in a red robe and white alb wearing the very Van tennies that were all the rage in 1986! The one next to him wore grubby loosely-laced tennies, again a la 1986. And, for criminy sakes, could some of these kids wash and comb their hair just for today? Some of the parents were just as bad. Shorts again and everywhere. Our family was almost overdressed. And, please, don't get started on the socioeconomic end of things; let's just say that this parish sits in a nice pricey part of town. It's no excuse anyway--I've been to less financially fortunate parishes, and many of them dress MUCH better than this one this past weekend. You are in the Lord's House--act and dress accordingly.

Is it really so hard?

~~

This capped a sad and long journey that has explained to me why the Da Vinci Code is a big deal. In a way, the Church has only itself to blame. The Catechism which is taught is so weak these days that Catholics do not know how to answer questions about their faith, let alone defend attacks against it. That's what Confirmation is about, being ready and willing to defend our faith. But no, we're so worried about how people feel, rather than just teaching the Truth, that the Truth gets lost in the muck and the kumbaya crap.

Case in point was the "retreat" for Candidates, Sponsors and Parents the weekend before last. Things are run by a Suze Orman clone--not that she doesn't have a hell of a load getting 180 kids prepped for confirmation (God save her!), but Holy and Dear Sweet Mother, if there were any more "small group activities," both myself and my sister-in-law were about to puke. It was just too damn cutesy, run too much like a corporate training ice-breaker session, and too much emphasis placed on "feelings" that nobody gained anything from the six hours we sat in the parish center.

So, big deal if a local news guy, who happens to be a parishioner, has a presentation, playing tag team with his wife. It was a space filler and a plug for his little pet project, and a little too late to be preaching social service to a bunch of kids who just wanted to go swimming or go to their friends' houses. I know for a fact that many of those kids didn't do squat, although they were required to do some kind of social service.

Worse, however, was the mangling of the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit. How in the hell do you get that screwed up? I keep a holy-card-sized thingy on my computer here, given to me by a dear friend at my own Confirmation 4 years ago. Wisdom, Knowledge, Counsel, Fortitude, Understanding, Piety, Fear of the Lord. Not that hard, huh?
(hmmm.... sounds like a future reflection!)

Well!

Somehow compassion got in there, and awe instead of fear, smooshed wisdom and knowledge together with empathy, and they politically corrected them and watered them down to the point that even my barely-practicing and skeptical sis-in-law was like, "huh?" The adults were scratching their heads and the kids were confused, then bored. It was a waste of time. A very important point in Catechism was diminished by a crummy Powerpoint presentation with a wishy-washy speaker. It's really too bad.

I wish I had attended some of the actual catechism classes, but on the other hand I probably would have found more fodder for my disdain for this whole mess.

When the kids (and adult!) catechumens aren't guided/taught correctly, their facts get muddled. When the facts concerning their faith get muddled, they start to not care because that foundation begins to feel a little unstable. Add to that the lack of reverence within their own parish (in addition to the above, at one of the Confirmation meetings, kids were eating Carl's Jr in the baptistry! And there's more... much more... ugh), plus the uninspiring music... and the parental carelessness... no wonder they tune out.

The Baltimore Catechism sure is looking attractive after what I've witnessed in these last several months. It really is.