Someone's knockin' at the door, somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door, somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor, open the door, and let 'em in*

I'm not a McCartney fan, but this is the appropriate snip of music in my head right now. Tonight, I think, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, that dark tunnel that I wrote about before. It's just a pale, tiny glimmer, but a pinpoint of light nonetheless.

Not a lot has changed, really, but sometimes... there's just an instance where you have that nudge that you're doing the right thing, following the right path even though you lost the map.

Or, to continue the initial thought, someone was knocking and I opened the door.

Our fraternity had an impromptu pot luck meeting that was set up last week and took place earlier this evening (I just got home). A few months ago we had our elections, and we have a new formation director, with the person who came in second in voting an unofficial co-director (neither of whom is the previous director). They have revamped the formation syllabus and changed dates and times, we have new, more convenient times for formation and the meetings, and oh yeah, things are looking much better as a whole. Not so all-encompassing and day-wrecking (time-wise) as it was before. There are changes and shifts in meeting times and durations that are much different than we've had before, but I think they will be for the better, and everyone concerned will be happier overall.

One of the topics discussed was Mentors and Mentoring. I have had horrid luck with mentors. Mary was my first choice, someone I have always looked up to. But in the early fall last year, the Minister of her fraternity (not the one I'm in) had to have major surgery, and, as she was vice-minister, she foresaw problems with having time to give. So I go to Terri, another lovely woman who I love dearly, but we never could meet or talk, and she's had severe health issues. I was discouraged. I chose two ladies I trusted and looked up to, but they didn't pan out.

P, our new formation director, emailed me earlier this week, saying that he had just talked to Terri, and I would need a new mentor because of her poor health and our inability to get together and make it work. There was someone within our fraternity that I had grown to like and respect, and in recent months had started to quietly connect with. But I didn't have the nerve to go up and ask R. to mentor me, as I assumed he was swamped, already had a candidate or two to mentor, etc. etc.

Well, tonight became "assign those floaters who are in attendance to mentors" night. Not all of the candidates were assigned, especially if they weren't there. I think that the new council wants to start our new year cycle in August with all the pins in a row, which is wonderful. I think it's a grand idea and I watched and listened. My plight hadn't been discussed right off the bat, so I merely watched with interest, wondering if I could pull R. aside along with P. later in the evening and approach him on the subject. Unfortunately, all the tea I had drunk at dinner suddenly hit and I had to disappear for a moment. I come back, my name is called and I look up in surprise.

It kind of became an auction in reverse; instead of the price going up, people eligible were eliminated. R. was the 'reverse auctioneer,' if you will. Oh, Rosemary has two, Bill has one but is going on a South American mission in September, Sue is already mentoring and is swamped with Regional stuff, and thus it goes around the room. Suddenly, R. looks at me and says, "How about I be your mentor?"

I wanted to cheer, "HELL YEAH!" and dance a (badly executed) jig, but decorum decreed that I say in a demure tone, "That would be great!" I don't think I could keep the smile off my face or out of my eyes.

As it turns out, he isn't mentoring anyone at this point, so it's very fortuitous.

I am a scaredy cat. Mew!

~~~

This encouraging turn of events has my mind lighter... I know that's a badly constructed sentence, but it describes how I feel. I can actually think about picking up the website after months of indifference and lack of contributions from others, and getting back into the swing of things again. I haven't entirely shaken that disappointment that struck me so forcibly a few weeks ago.

We have a month off--we take every July meeting off for a break--and I think by the time that we start gearing back up in August I'll be ready to go. Hopefully, by then, the rest of my mind will be similarly at ease and I will be raring to go.

~~

Please pray for my fellow candidate who has a sister that's been in ICU for nine days; it's not looking good, and she and her family need all the prayers they can get. Thanks.

~~
Edited to Add: Her sister has passed away.
O Gentlest heart of Jesus, ever present in the Blessed Sacrament, ever consumed with burning love for the poor captive souls in Purgatory, have mercy on the soul of Thy departed servant. Be not severe in Thy judgment but let some drops of Thy Precious Blood fall upon the devouring flames, and do Thou O merciful Saviour send the angels to conduct her to a place of refreshment, light and peace. Amen.




__________________
*Paul McCartney/Wings, "Let 'Em In," 1976.

Discussion Topic: SFO Rule, Article 7: Interior Radical Change

(I have finally had time to condense the presentation we made for the May meeting. Sorry that I haven't had time to breathe... enjoy!)

The Candidates this year chose to present on Article 7 of the SFO Rule, which states:

United by their vocation as "brothers and sisters of penance" and motivated by the dynamic power of the gospel, let them conform their thoughts and deeds to those of Christ by means of that radical interior change which the gospel calls "conversion." Human frailty makes it necessary that this conversion be carried out daily.
On this road to renewal the sacrament of reconciliation is the privileged sign of the Father's mercy and the source of grace.

Initially, we set out to act as if we were going to define "Interior Radical Change " for a SFO dictionary or encyclopedia. That concept is something brought into discussion from the first time any curious person comes to an Inquiry session, and follows through Initiation, Candidacy, Profession, and all the rest of our lives as a Secular Franciscan. It was such a huge concept, a concept that everyone views differently. We sought to come to a common definition so that we could discuss the Article on common ground.

One group put it this way: pick it apart. "Interior," meaning from within; "radical," with its negative connotations in some aspects, think of it as extreme, over-the-top, unusual; and "change," transforming from one form to another. Therefore, Interior Radical Change could be defined as "an extreme transformation from within." Another group put it in a different way, incorporating the important concepts of community, the Gospel Life, and centering in Christ. The third group tied it into conversion. So, as common ground, the definition in regards to the SFO life would look something like this:

Interior Radical Change (n.): 1. A transformation from within a person when exposed to the Franciscan charism of centering on the Gospel life, following in Christ's footsteps, and living within and without the secular community. 2. A shift in perspective that elicits a spiritual and internal change in the way the person views the world and therefore acts in the Franciscan spirit.

With that in mind, we took the next step: is the concept of "conversion" exactly the same as "change"? Is it redundant? And is "conversion" the same as "radical interior change"? Conversion , it was discussed, is a higher form of change, and that conversion, daily conversion (which penance is a key part of), is the path to radical interior change.

Radical interior change is that phenomenon that, when lived and viewed through the Franciscan lens colored with the gospel life, changes one's entire outlook and how people react to situations. This was a good discussion that required little guidance, as it twisted and turned and brought newer and deeper understanding for all.

We read excerpts from Fr. Bernard Green's booklet "Transformation in Christ," as a segue from the previous topic and then bringing about the subjects in the second paragraph of the Article, in regards to Confession/Reconciliation, to which we steered to the subject of penance. Here are some excerpts:

The heart of the Gospel, then, is aimed at freeing us... so that we can give ourselves fully to all that brings an enhancement of human life... extend[ing] our horizons so as to natural life in a new light and as replete with higher potentialities through genuine community with one another (from Chapter 5).

This is the he part where we started the discussion regarding penance and repentance:

...[T]he New Testament understanding of repentance is quite different from our usual understanding of repentance as the way we win God's favor or which avoid His punishment...
"As portrayed in the New Testament, repentance is radically different, and to be transformed by the Gospel, we need to recognize this. In the Gospel, repentance is our response to the prior offer of grace, not the way in which we win that grace...

The difference between the Biblical understanding and our usual understanding of the term is that in the New Testament our repentance is made possible by the encounter of grace, and is thereby a gift that we appropriate, not something that we earn. It is not something which we can claim simply as our own achievement. It is not a matter of self-achievement but of receptivity of a gift (Chapter 6).

It stands to reason that the overall concept in the entire Article starts to a willingness to say "Yes" to God. Yes, to listening to that knocking on the door, yes to God's call. Yes to the Gospel life. Yes to change from within to see change from without. Yes to being one with Christ and walking with Him. Yes to the radical interior change that is necessary to stay on that path. Yes to admitting frailty, confessing sins that are part of being human, and to practicing that often to renew my path. Yes to God's invitation to grace so that I can be saved by Him.

Yes, I accept God's invitation to explore my faith.