Cruising the Intertubes

I've gotten back into my habit of cruising several excellent blogs, including the perennial favorites of Curt Jester, Fr. Z's What Does the Prayer Really Say?, Roman Catholic Blog, and Whispers in the Loggia.

Here is a sampling of my recent favorite posts:

Deep Six the Sixties

Dissenting Cadre Quiz and PLRC-SAAM infection spreading???

California Catholic on the Motu Proprio

Letter-writers defend Fighting Father Malloy

No News

A satirical moving tribute to Marty Haugen, Pastoral Musician of the Year
Side Note: gads, and the plethora of his music I used to sing... you can almost make his music respectable when you have the organ accompaniment. Lil and David worked hard to obliterate the Kumbaya flavor of his music and did a fine job of it. The guy isn't even Catholic, for heaven's sake!

A Quaker on Defective Churches and "Subsistit In"

While We're All Busy Being Offended...

So I keep pretty busy with my reading. After a thorough confession (thank you Fr. David from the Fathers of Mercy, an Order of which I am a big fan--thank you, Fr. Hoorman for being so comfortable with your orthodoxy that you invite them back again and again), I'm back at Mass and back in the groove.

Formation starts again next month, and I finally have an active mentor. The formation duo has added texts to now more fully supplement "Catch Me a Rainbow Too": "To Live As Francis Lived," "Francis: The Journey and the Dream," and the "Secular Franciscan Companion."

I have a prayer request: please pray for Bernadette, the formation director of the St Francis Fraternity in Phoenix, and her family. Her son-in-law was tragically killed after one of our monsoon storms.

Peace.

Someone's knockin' at the door, somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door, somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor, open the door, and let 'em in*

I'm not a McCartney fan, but this is the appropriate snip of music in my head right now. Tonight, I think, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, that dark tunnel that I wrote about before. It's just a pale, tiny glimmer, but a pinpoint of light nonetheless.

Not a lot has changed, really, but sometimes... there's just an instance where you have that nudge that you're doing the right thing, following the right path even though you lost the map.

Or, to continue the initial thought, someone was knocking and I opened the door.

Our fraternity had an impromptu pot luck meeting that was set up last week and took place earlier this evening (I just got home). A few months ago we had our elections, and we have a new formation director, with the person who came in second in voting an unofficial co-director (neither of whom is the previous director). They have revamped the formation syllabus and changed dates and times, we have new, more convenient times for formation and the meetings, and oh yeah, things are looking much better as a whole. Not so all-encompassing and day-wrecking (time-wise) as it was before. There are changes and shifts in meeting times and durations that are much different than we've had before, but I think they will be for the better, and everyone concerned will be happier overall.

One of the topics discussed was Mentors and Mentoring. I have had horrid luck with mentors. Mary was my first choice, someone I have always looked up to. But in the early fall last year, the Minister of her fraternity (not the one I'm in) had to have major surgery, and, as she was vice-minister, she foresaw problems with having time to give. So I go to Terri, another lovely woman who I love dearly, but we never could meet or talk, and she's had severe health issues. I was discouraged. I chose two ladies I trusted and looked up to, but they didn't pan out.

P, our new formation director, emailed me earlier this week, saying that he had just talked to Terri, and I would need a new mentor because of her poor health and our inability to get together and make it work. There was someone within our fraternity that I had grown to like and respect, and in recent months had started to quietly connect with. But I didn't have the nerve to go up and ask R. to mentor me, as I assumed he was swamped, already had a candidate or two to mentor, etc. etc.

Well, tonight became "assign those floaters who are in attendance to mentors" night. Not all of the candidates were assigned, especially if they weren't there. I think that the new council wants to start our new year cycle in August with all the pins in a row, which is wonderful. I think it's a grand idea and I watched and listened. My plight hadn't been discussed right off the bat, so I merely watched with interest, wondering if I could pull R. aside along with P. later in the evening and approach him on the subject. Unfortunately, all the tea I had drunk at dinner suddenly hit and I had to disappear for a moment. I come back, my name is called and I look up in surprise.

It kind of became an auction in reverse; instead of the price going up, people eligible were eliminated. R. was the 'reverse auctioneer,' if you will. Oh, Rosemary has two, Bill has one but is going on a South American mission in September, Sue is already mentoring and is swamped with Regional stuff, and thus it goes around the room. Suddenly, R. looks at me and says, "How about I be your mentor?"

I wanted to cheer, "HELL YEAH!" and dance a (badly executed) jig, but decorum decreed that I say in a demure tone, "That would be great!" I don't think I could keep the smile off my face or out of my eyes.

As it turns out, he isn't mentoring anyone at this point, so it's very fortuitous.

I am a scaredy cat. Mew!

~~~

This encouraging turn of events has my mind lighter... I know that's a badly constructed sentence, but it describes how I feel. I can actually think about picking up the website after months of indifference and lack of contributions from others, and getting back into the swing of things again. I haven't entirely shaken that disappointment that struck me so forcibly a few weeks ago.

We have a month off--we take every July meeting off for a break--and I think by the time that we start gearing back up in August I'll be ready to go. Hopefully, by then, the rest of my mind will be similarly at ease and I will be raring to go.

~~

Please pray for my fellow candidate who has a sister that's been in ICU for nine days; it's not looking good, and she and her family need all the prayers they can get. Thanks.

~~
Edited to Add: Her sister has passed away.
O Gentlest heart of Jesus, ever present in the Blessed Sacrament, ever consumed with burning love for the poor captive souls in Purgatory, have mercy on the soul of Thy departed servant. Be not severe in Thy judgment but let some drops of Thy Precious Blood fall upon the devouring flames, and do Thou O merciful Saviour send the angels to conduct her to a place of refreshment, light and peace. Amen.




__________________
*Paul McCartney/Wings, "Let 'Em In," 1976.

I love late night bombshells

I checked my email before heading to bed last night and this is what I read:

"...S has called it quits on me and I am devastated... he’s gonna be moving away from [their daughter] and I very soon. He’ll be moving... once he’s discharged from the military on a medical basis. He’s had much stress with not knowing what’s going on with his health and career that I don’t think he’s making this decision based upon just us... Love is just not enough sometimes, I guess… [...] He’s pretty set in his decision though and the he wants me to start the paperwork for divorce while he’s away. I am just so torn about this… I hope that I didn’t unload on you too much."

I sat there stunned. My dear friend D is so sweet and this has obviously left her stunned, and from what else I read in this email this came out of left field. This was the pair that had fallen in love instantaneously, were so sweet and perfect together, the birth of their baby daughter the event of the year. S had pontificated before and after they were married about how he'll never abandon his family as his was, have the dysfunctional family his was, how he'll make sure that D and their daughter will want for nothing, that D was the sunshine of his life and he was so devoted to her. And he was, and everything was beautiful. I have to wonder what the medical issue is--he was fine last time I heard, so I wonder if it was something sudden because he was happy and doing well in the Air Force. There was no warning. Something is going on here.

I told TJ and he was astonished as well. He really liked S, had good vibes about him, and enjoyed his company. So it's not just me thinking that S had come across as true-blue and all that. He, too, thinks there's something else going on. Not cheating, because that's not the vibe I'm getting. Something less superficial, methinks.

So as soon as D gets back from out of town, I'll meet up with her and the first thing I'm going to do is give her a big hug, and I suspect that she'll crack and cry uncontrollably. The poor girl.

As my brain was full after reading this, I didn't get to sleep until midnight-thirty or so, and of course I'm wide awake at 5 a.m. this morning, and at work by 7. Yuck.

Please pray for D and her 18 month old daughter C... and that S will come to his senses and change his mind about walking away from his wife and daughter.